Sunday, April 26, 2020
Good morning friends. I decided to share my heart with you all today. Today I am hurting. Emotionally I am in pain. I have been going through a lot this year. I have let go of a lot this year. I have realized that I am always putting myself last. I am always trying to please others. I'm always concerned with others opinions. What about me? I'm being trampled on. I'm caring for everyone else and no one is caring for me. It has caused me to be depressed. I lay in my bed and cry because I'm emotionally drained from other people repeatedly letting me down. It is such an awful feeling. The feeling of knowing that no one cares. Feeling like your not good enough or flawed. Feeling like everyone is looking down on you. You don't want to move. So you just sleep the pain away. The mind is so powerful. I know I should get up and do things, but I lay here still. I'm so hurt. I know what to do, but I don't know what to do. I have let other people take my happiness. I'm letting other people control me. I'm hurting and depressed. I'm embarrassed that I feel this way. I'm disappointed mostly with myself. I have let people take my power, my energy, and my time. We teach people how to treat us. We let people trample our emotions. We give them the power. Then when they are done with you, there is no strength left to stand up and start again. It's hard to stand and walk again. After being stabbed over and over again, it's so hard to get up and go at it again. You have to find it, the strength. You have to find the will power to get up and get going again. You have to find the way back to a healthy, happy you! It's not very far either, because it's already there within you. How? Start to think about you. What do you want? What makes you happy? Write something to get the feelings out. Sometimes that really helps when you have no one to talk to. Exercise and sweat a little. It helps to get a nice workout, you start to feel better about yourself. A long meditation in the shower with your favorite tunes can really boost your mood and creative thinking. Then once you start, don't ever stop. Keep the momentum of making you feel good and keeping you healthy, happy and positive. And do not lose yourself in others ever again. Teach people how you want to be treated. If others can't except you for you, then simply let them go.
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